i can't help it..i sooo LOVE you..

excited.

2005-08-29T09:44:00.000+08:00

MEHN!!!!!!!

miracles do happen!!!!!

wooooohooooo!!!!

throbbing.

2005-08-26T15:10:00.000+08:00

been a while since i wrote here...can't find time to do so...and why should i write here every single day? will my entries solve anybody's problem? NO..sheesh...it's all crap in here...sentiments that mean nothing to anyone..well..updates..

a. made varsity..tsss....guess what sport..

b. upcat last august 8, 8.00 am..penthouse..law center..bocobo hall...science was hard...and do i need to mention math? math ALWAYS complicates everything..

c. 8 months.go figure.

d. ust on the 18th of September. wish me luck because I really want to study there as much as I want to study in UP..the only difference is it's harder to pass the quota in UP...

e. e-classroom.(..oh...so?) what's the use of those computers if we are not allowed to use it? instead of getting entertainment from games or from the program, Paint, we get SORE butts.

f. distribution of cards tom..woopsie...pre-distribution jitters are taking its toll..i can feel my tummy somersaulting..

yun lang...hahaha...i'm making a speech right now...ang pagsamo ng isang iskolar ng bayan..nyeee...it's for english...bakit tagalog ang title? well...i don't know how to translate it..hahahahahaha..im starting to feel this "iskolor ng bayan" thing..hahahaha. :)

confused.

2005-06-26T10:27:00.000+08:00

tagalog kaya gamitin ko, for a change.ayun.galing ako sa house nya kahapon.after review sa school, punta sa bahay nya kasama sina anj pati manats.tapos ayun.umalis siya ng sandali at iniwan kmi nila manats sa kwarto nya.etong si manats,natuwa.sinuot ang night gown ng baby ko.hahaha.cute cute :) tapos ayun,humiga ako sa kama habang si manats at anj ay tumitingin kay poofy, ang dakilang puting hamster ni baby ko.pagbalik niya nagbihis muna kami ng pambahay dahil mainit kapag unipormeng checkered and suot.tpos ayon.kumain kmi ng..anu un?...mechado ba? ewan.bsta masrap :) tpos pagbalik sa kwarto, inatake si nix ng pagkabundat.higa agad sa kama.hehehe :) tpos ayun umalis na sila anj saka si manats at naiwan kami ni cat dun.eh masaya pro nagng malungkot agad ako.takte.nilagnat siya.... :( :( :( ako pa nagsabi sa papa nya na may lagnat xa at dahil ako'y iyakin at ayaw ko siya nakiktang ganun, umiyak ako......nanaman.pro hindi sa harap ng papa nya.tpos pinatulog ko siya kahit na nagpupumilit na gagawa daw siya ng homework eh hinang-hina na siya.. :( :( (waah..naiiyak ulit ako..naalala ko...) lam mo yun..nakahiga lng siya dun...dinidistract ko nalang sarili ko...ginawa ko lahat ng homework nya: sa math at sa psych.miracle.nasagutan ko ang math.tpos ayon.pinainom ko siya ng gamot at dahil nga natutulala ako, hindi ko xa natulungan humanap ng gamot.shhhtupeed.another thing.hindi ko din xa natulungan gumawa nng cold compress nya pra bumaba lagnat nya.shhhhhhhtuuupeeed agen.tpos nawala ng onti fever nya kc napawisan na sya.pinatay ko kasi electric fan.ang init.pro ayus lng.kelangan ko din masanay sa walang electric fan,mxado na akong maselan.ayoko na pati sa init eh magiinarte pa ako. tpos ayun,kumain kami ng dinner.mechadong masarap ulit :) tinuruan ko xa kung pano ko nasagutan yung math tpos naglaro xa ng hearts sa laptop nya dahil bored na xa...yakap ko xa nun.tpos sabi nya ayaw na nya..kc..kc..kc...naghihina ulit xa..(fucker,naiiyak ulit ako..) tpos humiga xa dun..nktingin lng ako...umiyak ulit ako...tpos umiyak ulit..den agen only this time hindi nya nakita kc nakatulog na xa...tpos umiyak ult ako..hbng tntgnan ko xa matulog...tas pg mggcng xa...sasalita xa ng onti..tpos mkk2log ulit..den iiyak ult ako...cycle lang naman.iyak,gising,salita,iyak.tpos ngpasundo ako ng 8.45 kc ayoko xa iwan dun...wala pa man din mom nya...gs2 ko ako magaalaga...eh ayun...sinundo ako..pinagalitan..lahat..kaya paguwi ko,umiyak ult ako..kc worried ako..at napagalitan ako.the end.

bored.

2005-06-03T12:51:00.000+08:00

Fine. I let myself get lured by this survey again.

put an 'X' next to what u have accomplished
( ) snuck out of the house
( ) gotten lost in your city
(x) seen a shooting star
(x) had a serious surgery
( ) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
( ) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) done drugs
(x) Had alcohol
(x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(x ) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
( ) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
( ) been high
( ) skinny-dipped
( ) skipped school
( ) flashed someone
( ) saw a therapist
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
( ) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) stolen something from your job
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
(x) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
( ) Driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
( ) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) Lost a child
( ) Gone to college
( ) Graduated college
( ) Done hard drugs
(x) Tried killing yourself
(x) Fired a gun
(x) Purposely hurt yourself
(x) Taken painkillers
(x) Love someone or miss someone right now

lumpia.

2005-06-03T12:00:00.000+08:00

Lechon manok for 160 pesos. Yummy dinner, if you asked me. Anyhoo, while I was conquering that demented road towards my house..(why demented you ask? it's full of adiks and DOMs..eyuck..) I had the chance to think about last year. Yeah, I know it's a little too late to think about how I miss 3-7 because school starts on the 8th already. Geez, what the hell? It's free to look back you know. Anyhoo, because of the food I was holding, I remembered our cooking group which was composed of Karla, Jo, myself, Elenski, Soleil, Rach and Ces. The sauce of the lechon manok made me remember our infamous lumpia which turned out quite pleasing to the taste buds. Hehe. After numerous cooking sessions, none of us can forget how good that lumpia tasted and we kept craving for more until the end of 3rd year. It was THAT good. What's even funnier was that every cooking session, somewhere in the middle of boiling water and watery eyes due to onions, our group tends to be on the negative side of things. We never expected that the dish we would cook will taste good. Hello? Base it on the looks of the dish, surely, you won't put that inside your mouth. But after the cooking, after we've settled onto our chairs and served the food, none of us would say a word. That "unsightly" meal is already inside our mouths amidst our grins because what we made was, well, yummy. It always turned out that way. Even if our other classmates concocted meals that are way more pleasing to the eye than ours, I still had that inkling that even if our lumpia was burnt or even if our pasta was dry, what we cooked was still the best in that room.

I learned something from these experiences with those "always hungry" people. That even if things really do look that bad, just go on and finish what you started. Maybe in the end, you'll get more than what you expected. Just look at our group. Burnt lumpia and weird-looking carbonara anyone? = D

survey

2005-06-02T10:43:00.000+08:00

why do i get the feeling that this survey keeps on poping up just so i would answer it? fine fine fine.you win.

TEN Random Things About Me:
10. i can't live without my phone kahit ganyan siya na walang camera.at least ok ibato,dba?
09. may tinulungan na akong old lady sa bus. i exchanged seats with her because she was uncomfy with hers. :)
08. i like to put make-up on people but surely,you wouldn't like me doing that you especially if you care about how you look.mainly because,i just LIKE to put make-up on people.naiimagine mo na magiging itsura mo pag ako make-up artist mo? :)
07. naayos ko electric fan namin.hehe.(o tpos?)
06. i like sweeping, mopping and putting floorwax.hehe.
05. i really like gifts and surprises.promise.naiiyak ako pg sinusurprise ako.hehe
04. im such a crybaby.ask my bestfriend.hehe
03. make-up artist ng mulawin yung make-up artist namin ni anamor nung prom.nuh naman?
02. i like watching little bill.nye.
01. madali ako bilan ng sneakers kc pag sneakers,lahat sila gusto ko ang itsura.i always find something nice in each pair.

NINE Places I've Visited:
09. quezon city
08. isabela
07. laguna
06. bulacan
05. dagupan
04. divisoria
03. pasig
02. quiapo
01. antipolo

EIGHT Things I want To Do Before I Die:
08. bungee jump
07. manipulate a chopper and a plane
06. establish a company that manufactures stuff for the environment.
05. pakasalan ko xa.(kung di ikaw un at kilala mo tinutukoy ko,wag ka na magsalita.hanap ka ng sarili mo)
04. write a kiddie book which i doubt i can do dahil sa magulong utak na nasa loob ng ulo ko.
03. build a hotel that offers top-of-the-line service and amenities pero its open to everyone.hotels weren't made only for the rich and famous you know..
02. make a difference in someone's life.promise.
01. jump off a plane and wish the parachute would work. :)

SEVEN Ways to Win My Heart:
07. surprise me with little things.im a sucker for those.
06. be sensible during conversations.ok lng mamilosopo,wag lng palagi dahil gaguhan na tawag sa ganun. :)
05. dont freak out when i throw tantrums or pag nagtatampo ako.lagi akong ganun.
04. SPOIL ME. :)
03. yung bglang nagsasabi ng iloveyou..aww...nppsmyl ako pg ganun.. :)
02. find time to play with me.i like to play and im ready to try any sport.
01. dont pretend.i think thats the most important thing most people consider.

SIX Things I Believe In:
06. Ghosts
05. Signs
04. Prayer
03. Destiny
02. Miracles
01. God

FIVE Things I'm Afraid Of:
05. flying ipis
04. elevators and closed spaces.oo na.claustrophobic na.
03. yung mapunta sa place na wala akong kakilala at walang makausap.ahehe
02. losing my loved ones because i have difficulty with letting go
01. ma-rape.seryoso.

FOUR of my Favorite Items In My Bedroom:
04. mirror
03. tv
02. my pillows
01. my bed

THREE Things I Do Everyday
03. basketball
02. eat
01. sleep

TWO Things I Am Trying Not To Do Right Now:
02. go insanely fat after two days.hehe
01. be tamad.ang geek ko na nga eh.araw2 ako ngaaral kht summer.

ONE Person I need To See Right Now:
01. xa

pissed.

2005-04-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

Grabe. I know I should be thankful for a lot of things pero hindi rin.Ewan. Parang HALOS lahat nalang ng nangyayari mali.Lahat nalang nagiging imposible isa-isa.Lahat nagiging abo sa harap ko.Isa-isahin natin.
1.Ang celebrasyon ng kaarawan ng bestfriend ko.nako nako nako.Ewan ko kung ano meron sa utak ng nanay ko at ayaw ako payagan.jusmiyo.hindi mo nga ako binabantayan sa bahay eh.ano meron sa pagtulog sa ibang bahay?eh pakiramdam ko nga eh nakikita mo lang ako kapag papagalitan moko.hay ewan.
2.review classes.nanay ko ulit.nako.ilang beses moko kinukulit jan.oo ako ng oo kasi gusto ko din.eh ngayon?balita ko kasi start na nun sa may2.haaaaaay talaga.
3.sun cellular.tumino kau.please lang.

nako.ewan.

public.

2005-03-31T19:32:00.000+08:00

I know that asking for forgiveness is not supposed to be publicized. But I have no choice. Sun Cellular sucks and I can't call you at home.

I said I understood your side. I do,ok? If you received my text, it's all in there. But in case you didn't, hear me out. I understood pretty well your reason why. No doubt about that. But like what I said, it's because of my stupidity. You know for a fact that I don't forget things easily. Things like fights or words that have been said. Things that made me mad or things that made me cry. I'm sorry. It's my fault that I got mad all over again. I reminded myself about it and so, all of the hurt and anger came back to me. I'm sorry if I made it look as if I didn't give your explanation the attention it deserved. That I didn't listen. I did baby,I did. I'm really sorry. I know my fault and without pulling myself down, I know that I'm the reason for all of this. Aminado ako. Ako nagsimula. Ako din nagpalala. Pero sana pakinggan mo din ako. Wala na akong masabi.. Un lang.. Sorry talaga...

mush.

2005-03-31T14:10:00.000+08:00

What's mine is yours....

Before was a silhouette hiding behind shrieks and smiles.
Before a bit childish but now a loyal lover;
Partaking in a relationship that journeys for miles,
Engaged in a bond I would make last until forever.
A love cannot be shown but exploding with passion:
Extending to the clouds, reaching past the sky
Even more beautiful than vast cascading horizons;
Able to take you to places you can grasp if one could fly.
Now atop a rainbow, walking side by side;
Fleeing from the darkness where I once sheltered.
Amidst the droplets of morning dew we glide;
In the beauty of our love, our joys and pains I have gathered.
I dream of forever with you holding me tight,
Enjoying the wonders of our love taking her majestic flight.

And what's yours is mine...

I never believed that angels were real,
I've always seen them as some sort of dream.
Because that was how they had always seem,
To me, there really not a big deal.
With that on my mind, I started my journey,
Along life's road which, to me, was a bog wonder.
There were times when I did feel like a loner,
Because no one was there to even accompany me.
Then somewhere along that road you appeared.
You offered me a hand to hold on to,
You served as my angel that seemed just so true.
and with you beside me, all my torubles disappeared.
I learned then that an angel wasn't a lie,
For with your company, I've seen and even felt one fly.

angst.

2005-03-30T20:26:00.000+08:00

waaaah. badtrip ako. un lng.

go figure.

gloom.

2005-03-28T18:52:00.000+08:00

Last night, as usual, I couldn't sleep again so I decided to just compose some kiddie rhymes for my baby. Quite stupid..the inspiration was brought about by me missing her soo much. I made two rhymes. The rhymes remind me of Adam Sandler in Mr. Deeds. Creating those cards just to get Hallmark's attention. Sheesh.

In the darkness, the tears flow away
Taking the place of words I want to say
If you were beside me, you'd hear my voice
"Since we parted, I had everything but joy"

And another one...

I close my eyes and envisage you there
I reach for your hand but I grasp thin air
Sadness gradually sweep upon my face
As my heart continue to long for your ardent embrace

Nge. Kala daw sobrang profound nung poem. Wala yan. Thesaurus lang yan ng Word. Pero totoo yung emotions jan sa rhymes. Totoong totoo. I miss you. Terribly.

dream.

2005-03-27T15:04:00.000+08:00

Last night. What about last night? If I were to describe last night's happenings, it would be the word HORRIFIC.

Let me give you a blow by blow account (well..somewhat blow by blow..fine...a narration..) Let me give you a narration of what happened last night and why it turned horrific. So, I arrived at home wanting to sleep. I was feeling sick the whole ride home so I was desperate to lie down on my bed and doze off. And besides, Sun was having it's usual lag so I decided to just text my baby gudnyt then sleep. So 9.45 pm, I was lying in bed with all my pillows and my blanket around me. I can't remember anything after that, I must have fallen asleep then I suddenly woke up. Weird. I checked my phone and sure enough, my baby's replies which were due about 5 minutes after i sent them arrived,an hour later. "Jeepers Sun cellular. You suck" I thought. Anyway, so after I checked the messages and erased them, I went to sleep again. Then after 5 minutes, I woke up again. I shifted my position then closed my eyes. Then after 5 minutes, I woke up again. That scenario repeated 2 more times before I sat up.

Weird isn't it? It was like someone or something did not want me to fall asleep. During that time, I felt that I was supposed to see something that hasn't happened yet that's why I kept on waking up. It was the feeling that someone was watching me, periodically waking me up when that someone senses that I am off to Dreamland. I was so damn scared last night, believe me. I was hugging my pillows close to me and occupied every bit of space in my bed with the fear that someone would lie next to me. My blanket was wrapped tight around me and I gasped and jerked at the slightest sound I would hear. Paranoid na,mas lalo pang naging paranoid.

So, like what my baby said, I prayed...thrice...then tried to sleep again. And as if my fears that night weren't realized,another episode happened. This time, I saw something in my thoughts. I knew I was sleeping already but there was this blinding white light shining straight on my face. I had my eyes closed but I felt myself squint because it was sooooo bright. Then I woke up again, my heartbeat racing.

Can anybody come up with an explanation to what happened to me?

Oh yeah. Before I forget. In addition to the weird things that happened that night, something happened pa pla earlier. I was reading a magazine inside my cousin's house when I had this "vision" that my sister was gonna bump the back of her head on one of the corners of the concrete stairs adjacent to the front door. In that vision, I was inside the house reading the magazine. I felt really uneasy so I went outside to watch my sister play. And sure enough, she was there playing on the concrete stairs. Damn.

rage.

2005-03-25T13:23:00.000+08:00

Ok. Kuya Paul, thank you for making my day. You know that thing old people such as our parents believe in? That fun isn't allowed during Good Friday so as to commemorate properly the death of Christ? Well,looks like I'll be observing that this year. Thanks to you Fatista/Larger-Than-Rikishi/Paul-Bearer-Look-Alike.

Hmmm. Let's move on to a nicer topic. It's not actually nice because it deals with how I'm gonna miss 3-7. A lot of other people have composed their own tribute to the original "Rockers" of the 3rd year. Well, why not make my own?

What I'm gonna miss? Lots.

1)6.45 pm na wala pa din tao sa room.O kung meron,iilan lang. Halatang tamad pumasok.
2)Mrs. Gavino's timer.Ok.Practice para sa ACET.
3)Tuesdays with Ms.Rivera.
4)Street language (Karahan anyone? Or landian nlng? Or would you prefer opening the chicken ass on your face?)
5)Ms.Pike's bionic ears and eyes which can see and hear the slightest movement.Parang hidden cam.
6)Flag ceremonies outside with Ms.Patiño watching us.
7)That "grace" teacher from CL.Can't forget her.Sorry.
8)Abby David-Gel-Sir David triangle.
9)The endless picturan w/ cameras provided for by Soleil and Stef.Special mention pa.
10)Guitars and the kajon,of course.Talagang musical.
11)Ghetto and Rocker themes.
12)"Si ____ kc eh!" lines by Leeann and Migo.ü
13)"3-7 riprizints".
14)Sir David's jokes na tinatawanan kasi sobrang CORNY.
15)Songfest and Speech Choir.From all-time high to an all-time low.
16)Music presentations on the different musical plays.I feel pretty,oh so pretty.Geez.

Can't remember all because there were certainly a lot of memories made. I can't actually call it "growing-up" when I was put in that room, but I was changed. Hehe. Pasaway na ako. Harhar. I miss 3-7. 3rd year is my best year because of 3-7, no doubt about that.ü

roulette.

2005-03-24T13:35:00.000+08:00

I feel warped. It's as if I'm in a completely different world right now at this moment. It's like I see the usual things but the atmosphere is different. Weird.

I'll type..and type..and type...about stuff that comes into my mind..

You know yesterday, Dad gave me a mind-boggling idea. He said he read somewhere that there is no such thing as smell or taste. It was said in that article that the brain just dictates to us what we "smell" or "taste". Then my mom overheard us arguing and so my dad told her to. So my mom joined in the debate and told my dad that the brain cannot be a dictator because what then are the uses of the different parts in our tongue? Then i butted in. "Mom,pano kung nilagay lang yun dun para yun ang paniwalaan natin?" They just looked at me and dropped the topic. Hmm. Nabara ba sila o naweirdohan sakin?

I want to get my bellybutton pierced but since my baby doesn't want that, I'll settle for another hole in my ear.

Sun is ruining my life. Freakin lag.

I just relized that if what my Dad read was true, then the brain is the greatest dictator I know. Imagine, ruling over the whole world population. That's gotta be suh-weet!

freak.

2005-03-23T18:57:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Somethin's up with me today. I went to Megamall and for the 1st time in what, almost a year? I put on some pressed powder and gel blush. Freak. Hahaha. What the hell's wrong? Is the world turning upside down all of a sudden? Weird.. From someone who doesn't give a damn about how she looks, I turn into this freakazoid who puts on some makeup. Nyay. Creepy. And guess what I told my dad when he said that I had a lot of rituals? "Dad,I'm feeling kikay today..*smiles then puts on eyeliner*" Jeepers..was that me? Hahaha. When I recall that incident, I just find myself laughing. Nix, you freak.

We went to a religious shop today. I bought myself a book entitled "7 rules for writers". And guess what? In that religious shop was a canteen. And guess where ol' Nix went? To the canteen,obviously. Yummy. Sarap ng Piattos na cheese. Ewww. You freakin pig. Hahaha.

I am sick right now. And why am I typing this entry? That's because...I...AM...A...*boom* Freak. bow. :)

boredom.

2005-03-22T12:07:00.000+08:00

March 15, 2005: Wow. Lapit na vacation. Yehey!! Wala nang exams, wala nang quiz, wala nang kahit ano!
March 16, 2005: Bday ko na..bakasyon na bukas..yessss!!!
March 17, 2005: O tapos?

Ganyan kaya ako. Kala daw excited biglang la pala gagawin. Haha. Natawa nalang ako sa sarili ko. Kapal ng mukha magrejoice dahil wala nang school tapos pagdating sa bahay,biglang nagrereklamo na ang boring kasi walang ginagawa. Hahahahaha. Labo ko talaga. Oh well. Tapos ang ganda ganda ng timing ni Sun Cellular. Kung kelang kating-kati na ako magtext ng 24/7 talaga, saka naglalag ang sistema. Jusmiyo. Tumino nga kayo. Tapos edi gusto ko magbikini. Eh nako,bikini bye-bye. Lumalamon ako ng pagkain. TSSSSSS. Pathetic. Eto pang si Oprah, iniinggit ako. Bakit ka kasi namimigay ng flat screen tv? ng laptop? ng tracking device? ng mp3 player? ng bag? ng coat? Saka bakit sila meron, ako wala? UNFAIR. Hahahahaha. Ayun. May mga magaganda naman na nangyari sa akin sa mga lumipas na araw pero....iiwan ko nalang hanggang dito. Guess. weeeh!

congratulations.

2005-03-09T20:18:00.000+08:00

Let me go straight to the point. Congratulations dearie. You just turned so many people against you. And surprise surprise. I TRUSTED YOU A LOT.

Manahimik ka nalang. Alam ko batang-kalye ka. Asal mo palang pati pananalita mo. Pwede ba? Wag mo kami idamay sa mga kagaguhan mo. At kung may ikakalat ka man, siguraduhin mo muna na totoo. Wag kang bastos. Respeto naman.

Akala mo madami kang 'fans'. Akala mo na dahil isa kang 'astigin' jan at 'rakista' eh pasok ka na. Eh kung ilabas ko kaya na ganyan ugali mo, ha? Pasok ka pa kaya? Baka ikaw ang ipasok sa isang mahaba at berdeng kawayan na ipapakain sa panda bear.

Yang dila mo, ipasok mo na lang. Pwde din na putulin ko para sa gayon eh wala ka nang mabiktima pa. Pati mga inosenteng tao sinisiraan mo. Ah alam ko na. Pangit din kasi reputasyon mo kaya gusto mo ng karamay. Kaya yan. Pati kami isasali mo sa mundo mo. Excuse me,asan ang pinto? Pwded lumabas? Ikaw ang pinakahuling tao sa mundo na gusto kong makasama. Mamatay na lang ako kesa makasama kang ungas ka.

sarcastic.

2005-03-09T20:03:00.000+08:00

Hey. I want to thank you for granting my wish. That's all. Thank you. Sobra.

ignore.

2005-03-08T18:58:00.000+08:00

half day...nilalagnat...masakit katawan...ganito ako nung nagkadengue ako...nahihilo ako...*cough cough...*swaying slowly...

Those words caused great pain to read. Even greater pain to see and hear. I woke up this morning and tasted blood in mouth. Baka nga may ulcer ako I thought. But then, I checked my phone and there it was. The message that made me forget the stabbing pain in my stomach and the gross taste of blood in my mouth. My baby was sick.

Maybe you'd think that Damn, this person is writing an entry about her sick girlfriend or Geez, how boring and shallow. If you only knew how hard it is to see someone suffer in front of you, you'd understand my purpose.

I told someone last night that if only I could do something to at least lessen the pain of being sick or at least bring her relief from what she's feeling.. It sucks when the fact Hey dude, all you can do is watch and pray. You are not God to relieve her from her sickness hits you. I can't deal with the reality that I, supposedly her savior and stronghold, can only sit there and watch her cough like mad.

If only I had that healing power many boast of. Just this once. Just at this moment. I want to be able to touch her and in a snap, she'll be ok. I confess that I am a hardcore sadist in nature but its different with her. She is the only I hate to see suffering. I tried so hard today to ignore her comments like nahihilo ako or when I see her leaning down on her desk because of the,in my opinion, building pressure of pain in her head. I tried to stay oblivious to the fact that she is sick. She asked me if she looked sick. I said No you don't while shaking my head. Well, the truth was she did look sick. I just don't want to see her sick, that's why.

She was lying on my lap and I can't ignore the fact that she was burning. I just kept a straight face and tried to make her comfortable. Then in a fleeting moment, it was as if the heat went to my eyes making them teary. But I realized that the tears were not caused by that heat. They were really tears, forming because I don't want to see and feel her suffer.

During the morning rites, I asked God to make her feel better. What was more amazing was that I prayed, from my heart. Usually, I just recite those prayers in the morning. But today, March 8, 2005, 7:30 am, I found myself praying. Praying with all my heart so that God would hear me. If I could shout my prayers, I would've done it. But since I can't, I just kept it in. God, sana maging ok na siya. Ayoko po na nahihirapan siya. Please. Sana walang masamang mangyari sa kanya. Pagalingin mo na po siya. Sige na. Yun lang ang hinihiling ko.

I guess God didn't hear me...
im sooo sick na...masakit katawan ko...*sway sway...*cough cough...

God, I don't know if it's acceptable to pray using an online journal. But just the same, it's still coming from my heart. Pagalingin mo na po siya Papa God. Please. Nahihirapan na po siya. Alam mo naman na kapag nahihirapan siya, doble dun ang nararamdaman ko. Sana wag na po lumala ang sakit niya. Please God. Sana naririnig mo ako ngayon.

Guardian Angel, alam ko andiyan ka sa likod ko..alam ko nababasa mo ito...pwede pakisabi kay God yung hiling ko...sana maging ok na baby ko...salamat ah..

for you.

2005-03-06T19:46:00.000+08:00

Many have been destroyed. Many have chosen to forget. Many have taken separate paths. But where are we?
Here. Standing strong. Braving the high tides.

Your happiness is also mine. I'll leave the past and face the future with you.

clean slate.

2005-03-04T19:41:00.000+08:00

Hindi maiiwasan na magkaproblema ang dalawang nagmamahalan. Di din maiiwasan na may masasaktan at may iiyak. Ako yung umiyak. Ako yung nakasakit. Hindi ko naman kasi akalain na mali na pala ang nagagawa ko. Wala namangkasi sa pagkatao ko ang magbasa ng mga galaw ng isang tao. Marahil, natatakot ako magkamali at kung di papalarin ay ako pa ang lalabas na masama. Malapit talaga ako sa tao. Yung tipong kapag kakilala na eh talagang kakausapin ko at kung minsan,makikipaglaro. Bata ako yan ang sabi nila. Mahilig makipagharutan at mahilig mangasar. Natutuwa ako sa mga asar-talo at mga pikon. Kaya yung tao na yun ang lagi kong inaasar kapag wala akong magawa o kapag nakikinig ka ng taimtim sa guro. Ayaw kita guluhin dahil baka magalit ka dahil ginagambala kita. Ayaw kita guluhin kasi alam ko na importante sayo ang mga marka mo sa paaralan. Achiever ka kasi. Ako hindi.

May nakahalata na siya nga yung dahilan ng away. Napaisip ako dahil hindi ko akalain na masama na din pala ang itsura ng ginagawa ko sa ibang tao. Hindi ko talaga alam at paniwalaan mo sana ako kapag sinabi ko na hindi ko sinasadya. Naglalaro lang.

Sana hindi mo isipin na dahil kinikilig ako pag nagseselos ka eh sinasadya ko na pagselosin ka. Hindi po yun ang kaso. Talagang mahilig lang ako makipaghalubilo sa mga tao. Mahilig ako makisalamuha sa kanila.

Sinabi mo sa akin na pakiramdam mo noong mga oras na naghaharutan kami eh hindi na kita kailangan. Na hindi ko mapapansin kapag ikaw ay bigla na lamang maglaho. Ilang beses ko ba sinabi sayo na ikaw ang dahilan ko para sa lahat? Na ikaw ang siyang buhay ko at nagiisang tama sa mundo ko na sadyang pinipilit na maging mali. Mahal kita at kahit ba lumipas ang magpakailanman, andito pa din ako para mahalin ka ng lubos. Lahat ng bagay kaya kong ibigay at gawin para sayo dahil alam ko at alam din ng puso ko na ginawa ako para sayo. Kaya pano mo masasabi na wala akong pakialam kapag ikaw ay nawala.

Matagal ko nang ibinigay ang sarili ko sayo at sa palagay ko, hindi ko na muling mababawi ito. Kahit ba matapos ang lahat, maiiwan sa iyo ang buo kong pagkatao.

Naaalala mo ba ang sinabi ko sayo dati? Na sa isang malaking hardin ng mga rosas, ikaw ang aking nakita at nagustuhan. At mula noong pinitas kita, nangako ako na ikaw ay aking aalagaan at itatago dito sa puso ko.

Mahal na mahal kita. At sayong sayo lamang ako.

unwell.

2005-02-18T19:20:00.000+08:00

for the past 2 days..grabe..suka to d max..pabalik balik ako sa dearest washroom ng mga 3rd year..di ko alam kng bakit..actually ngayon...mejo nahihirapan ako mgfocus sa mga tntgnan ko dahil naghahalo sila na parang tsokolate na tunaw..yung mga kulay ng screen naghahalo-halo..shux..tpos kanina nagsuka ulit ako nng CL..kumabas ako ng dalawang beses within 30 minutes..wats wrong with me...dpat di ko ssbhn kay baby kc xa din msama pkramdam..andun nlng ako..ngssmyl at lahat lahat..nkkpgkulitan sa seatmate ko hbng pnp2log ko si baby kc nga dba..msama pakiramdam nya..pro paningin ko umiikot na at mejo masama na ulit ung tummy ko..in short,nauseous ulit ako..simula after lunch ayun na..eh sumabay si baby..so kinalimutan ko mga nararamdaman ko para at least mapabuti yng pakiramdam nya..para di na madagdagan yung mga iniisip nya..pro nung CL..di rin nakaligtas..si nix kc..halatang hilo at nasusuka..ayan..pro wat the hell..mas gusto ko nmn na mkita sha na ok..di bale na magkandahilo hilo na ako dun..as long as she's fine..i will be ok..tae tae...hilo ako ngaun..natatakot ako kc baka sa prom maging ganito ulit sitwasyon ko..magdala kayo ng gamot pls...ganda pa man din ng mga gown nyo..baka malagyan ng mga digested food items galing sa tummy ko..tsss...nix ur so gross..stop it..peace out.

of blood and tears.

2005-02-13T18:04:00.000+08:00

*nakita ko blog ni camz..andun yng song nila..so im proud din..lalagay ko din ung poem/song na nagawa ko...gaya-gaya..pake nyo.gs2 ko ilagay eh*

beating of two hearts resounding so differently

one of pride, the other of love so plenty

clashing, colliding, extending distance

though the martyr's heart, refuses resistaance

a love so pure and yet rejected

no tear shown, not even hatred

heart that was torn now bleeding with sadness

and yet putting on a face of happiness

captivating beauty as another heart tries to fight

brken hopes and dreams sent tears on their flight

ignoring pure feelings instead became cold

refusal to gaze and withdrew a hand

refusal to gaze and withdrew a hand to hold

a heart not made of stone and glass

as it just allowed the pain to pass

a love undying and growing each day

hopeful for some change so come what may.

*nung ginawa ko yan..tanong nila sakin kung nreject na din daw ba ako...kc parang alam na alam ko daw ung feeling....hndi pa ako nreject..nasaktan..oo..madaming beses na..pro ok lng....i understand..di lng cgro ako sanay na umiyak at masaktan ng sobra...on the good side naman..ang nagpaiyak sakn...siya din ang ngbigay skn ng inspirasyon makagawa ng mga tula gaya nito..madami na akong nagawang tula..para sa kanya..at para sa mga nararamdaman ko..ayun....mas madalas source of inspiration kita by...dont worry bout the times you made me cry...iyakin lng tlga cgro ako at hndi sanay...love you so much..*

kid at heart.

2005-02-13T16:07:00.000+08:00

valentine's day na tomorrow!! at natatawa ako dahil ang mga gift ko kay baby ang pawang mga laruang pambata.eh kc si nix..natuwa...binili..pagkatapos bilin..natawa at nerealize na halatang isip bata xa..hehehe..sorrriiii...baka pagtawanan ako...waaaah...eh kc nmn..ngpakita pa ung laruan..binili ko 2loy..well..hnd lht nng gift pambata..yung isa maganda..pinaghirapan ko...sooooobrang hirap gawin dahil hndi ako nakinig ng geom at chem para dun..nga pla..dami quiz sa school...sa geom may quiz..patay dahil hndi nga ako nakinig....may quiz din sa trigo..mas patay dahil new lesson at hndi din ako nakinig..so pano na ako?!?!?!?! waaaaaahhhhhhhh.....gudluck nlng sa long quiz sa history at sa isa pang quiz about civil war at latin america na hndi ko alam kng bakit namin pnagaaralan kahit hndi ako taga dun sa hinayupak na lugar na yun..pwde bang hayaan na lamang natin ang kanilang kasaysayan at mag-focus sa ating bansa?please?! pwde?! hndi ako amerikano...pilipino ako..balita ko asa pinas ako at wala sa argentina...sa peru...sa canada...sa florida..sa louisiana..sa greece..sa egypt..sa mesopotamia...d hell?! pinas...philippines.manila...un nlng..wag na world.as if naman mamamatay ako pag hindi ko inaral ang mga rason ng civil war..ng french revolution at ng industrial revolution...waaaaahhh..soooo sooooo hard...ay nga pala..last week...3 times ako umiyak...iyakin na bata...tsktsktsk...tapos ngovernyt ako kila baby ko..hehehe..ancute ng momi nya..ang kuuullliiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! tita,jan na ako titira...pwde?= >

wow

2005-02-06T10:30:00.000+08:00

pmnta ako sa bahay ni baby kahapon! saya! dami namin dun tpos daming fooooood.di na ako makakain ng dinner dahil sa sobrang dami ng pagkain sa bahay nila.hehehehe.cool.tpos may top deck sila na tinira for me.tpos may dalawa xang clown na doll na urk...scary..hehehe.tpos may troll si baby ko..cool.ansaya sa bed nya kc dami pillows.sarap ma2log pro di ako naka2log dhl ang gulo gulo ni by.kinikiliti ako.hehehe.eh bsta.ansaya tlga kahapon.sana maulit un.kc grabe..for d first tym,walang makakakita samin.may privacy kami at wala na silang masasabi ulit.nga pala..to you smurf...i am labeled as a property of my baby.lay your paws off me and let me live a happy life.*bow*

feeling weird.

2005-01-29T19:43:00.000+08:00

wow..may blog pala ako.tagal ko na di ngpost..kc naman....dami homework..dami iniisip...dami problema..dami kung ano ano...updates:
1.2nd monthsary namin sa tuesday feb 01
2.bday ni mama kahapon.kinalat ko ang mga green lobo sa bahay at pinasok ko ang regalo ni baby at isang jumbo birthday card sa isang humongous envelope.
3.dating ni dadi umaga bukas.alis ni dadi gabi bukas.
4.prom na.2 gown ko..wala pa ako sapatos at hndi ko pa nabibili yung isang dress.
5.ballroom.partner ko si frances at wala pa akong ballroom heels.heels=HELL.aray.
6.dahil sa sobrang hilo ko,nhug ko si smurf at nagalit si by.pro ok na un ngaun.im not guna do dat ever again.don't expect anything back u fawking biatch.
7.i have been having vascular headaches for the past two weeks.next time,brain aneurism na.next stop: HEAVEN.
8.i am SWAMPED with homework dahil naeenganyo si ms.zuela at mrs.gavino mgbgay ng pahirap at pasakit sa aming weekend.lalo na pag weekday.
9.ako ay masaya dahil pumapayat na ako.
un lng.i thank you *bow* love you baby ko.muah!

heaven.

2005-01-17T19:40:00.000+08:00

i haven't posted for quite a while..i was busy with training...we got into 2nd place..silver medal and quite a nice trophy if u ask me..well...for the past few days..things have been both horrific and heavenly. :) horrific dahil may isang tao na naninira ng kasiyahan namin ni baby...tapos heavenly kc....ehehehe...smile nlng yung mga nakakaalam.. :) shhhhh..tae kau pg nilabas nyo toh...we both trust you..kaya..keep it to yourselves nlng..ayt? salamat...can't say anything more dahil i am currently in bliss..daming nangyayari..at masaya ako...suuper duuuper saya ko na i am urs..na u own me...i am officially labeled as "PROPERTY OF NIX'S BABY". back off bitch.harhar.love you baby girl...*smaaaaaaaaaaaack* tagal nun..saya saya. :)

asar ako sayo

2005-01-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

ayaw na ayaw ko ang pinagmumukha akong tanga at iyon ang ginawa mo sa akin..i min..sa AMIN lahat..grabe..pinaabot mo pa sa point na nagmamakaawa na sila para lang umamin yung salarin..kapal din ng mukha mo na mangcomfort eh ikaw din pala ang may kagagawan..shit ka.hay nako..ewan ko sayo..i trusted you,naging kaibigan kita..ngayon..ewan.tae ka..PROMISE.dami mong dinamay.. sobrang sinungaling..sobrang arghh...papakain kita sa tigre..leche ka..di ka man lng nakonsenxa agad nung umiiyak na sila..sos..may puso ka ba?pano na magulang mo?grabe yung kahihiyan na dala mo...sobrang daming nagtatanggol sayo..pro shet ka..manloloko..tpos tinuturo mo pa sa si bestfriend ko yung kumuha?pare...hinuhuli mo xa eh...tae tae tae ka...
yehey..isang malaking yehey dahil..WALANG gagawin bukas!!! eh well,,may training..pro yes!!!walang geom..walang trigo...walang chem...wala lahat.life is suuuh-wiiiit! yeahboy yeahboy!!! eh kaya lng..iba ang venue nila kesa sa venue ng training ko..so magkalayo pa din kami..ewan..gagawan ko yun ng paraan..hehehe..alam nyo ba..may nagregalo sakin sa shirt..si spongebob..na walang pants!!!! wahahaha.ang cute..tas nakalagay na caption "Spongbob nudie pants" bwahahaha!!! natatawa ako..nhyper ako bgla kanina nung nkta ko yng shirt..ang cute kasi..red tas may black na thing(piping ba tawag dun?!) sa may sleeves pti collar..hehe.ang ganda.suotin ko sa training kc...ANG GANDA!!! yehey! un lang..miss you baby...see you tomorrow...i love you sooo sooo sooo much! *smoochies*

yawn

2005-01-08T13:54:00.000+08:00

im soooo tired the whole week even if we only had 3 days of school.and yesterday,two teachers were absent so we had 3 free hours..then after lunch,surprise surprise..training na pala agad until 4..eh schedule nmin kng normal day ay training from 4 to 6.soo..yesterday,training lasted from 1 to 5:45 pm.i didn't bring my PE or any training attire kc i thought "4 to 6 lng nmn training eh.bkt pa ako mgbibihis?ska commute ako ngaun.wag na." kaya yun..after training...putragees..sakit ng paa ko.sobrang d ako makalakad ng maayos...hay shet..tas nglakad pa kmi sa shang..jusmiyo..bawat step,araaay ko...waaah...tas paguwi..napahiga nlng ako sa kama..paggising ko kanina,namamanhid yung buong right leg ko..tas pagtayo ko,araay..hay nako..pwde pakiputol nlng..sana mawala na dahil masakit tlga..hndi ako mkklaro..haay buhay..weekend..i miss you by...again..hndi mo pa ako nkiss..pro ok lng.:) dont wori bout it na..hehe.tapos na un.:) nxt tym nlng dba by?:) aun lng...la na ako masabi..pakshet..la pa ako susuotin sa proooom...rar. hay nako..ewan.bsta ang inaabangan ko ay ang pagpnta natin sa discovery kc...ksama kita!:) love you baby girl..:) *kiss* *hugtyt*

connected.

2005-01-04T09:53:00.000+08:00

yes.after two weeks of staying in the province..i am back! grabe..sobrang lamig dun,kala ko napunta ako sa baguio! lumabas ako nung bagong taon na nakabalot sa kumot at jacket.ay0s! monthsary namin ni baby nung 01! feel ko january 1 pa din ngaun kaya eto: happy monthsary ulit baby!ü yey! uhmm...1st tym namin lumabas kahapon..ahehehe..sa greenhills..wala akong ibang nakuha mula sayo kundi lait at lait pa din! yahoo.pero ok lng...bsta nagiging masaya ka,ok lng.ü grabe...tama ka.feel ko din ang daming nakatingin sa atin..pro wat d hell..hahawakan at hahawakan ko kamay mo kahit ba nakatingin sila..promise..sundutan nat toh ng mata next tym.yeah! kung cno man yung tao sa yellow cab,malunod ka sana sa mar pacifico. weh...history..pauso ni nix..anyway..ayan..after two weeks nagkta na tayo..after two weeks ng unending text fun at kung ano ano pa..hehehe.ü oo enjoy noh,kahit text..asus..lam mo na un baby..dba?masaya?ü pinakilig moko baby..kaw ah..sweetie...hehe..nung asa timezone tau..aba aba...hehehe..wahoo! saya saya!üüü well..ayan lang masasabi ko...masaya kahapon..kc kasama kita..pro ngaun miss na agad kita...i'll see you tomorrow! and you'll have a lotsa hugs and kisses from me!! yey!

gonna be away

2004-12-19T18:59:00.000+08:00

at 3am before daybreak tomorrow,i'll be leaving for the province...gonna be staying there until jan01..the magical date..but how can it be when i'm not gonna be spending it with you...damn..getting to the provinve would take like 8 hours...so imagine how far that is..literally,there would be mountains between us...oh well..im gonna try my best to call you every now and then just so i could hear your voice..i miss you now..how much more when i know that im so far away from you? what if something happens,i won't be there...shit this..see you when we go out on the 3rd?just tell me when..by then i would be sooooooo lonely already....rotten lonely watching the carabaos and horses walk along the fields there in the province..man..i love you baby...sooo soooo much...gonna miss you so..if i could kiss you there *point* right now,i would..you know kng san un...[uhmm nix..papakamatay ka ba?forever ba yan?hay nako..kahit na hindi forever..it would feel like it...]

sitting here..lonely..

2004-12-18T11:27:00.000+08:00

it's only been a day and i miss you soo much already..i've been sitting in front of the computer not knowing what to write..im just sad..last night,i was hugging the pillow you gave me...i never allowed it to get out of my arms..because everytime it does..i miss you even more...i never let it out of my sight..because in that pillow,i manage to squeeze an image of you..and in that split second that i see your face,i smile..but then..it fades away as soon as the image goes too..then..i feel this kind of loneliness i have never felt before...when i hug the pillow,the faint scent of your perfume wafts its way to my nose and i get this sinking feeling in my stomach..there were times last night that i wanted to hug you so tight and never let you go...but all i could hug was the empty space in front of me..so i just closed my eyes and feel my heart crying as i go to sweet slumber..when i woke up today..the pillow was the first thing that greeted me..and i felt sad again..when i went down the stairs..i saw the balloons you gave me...when i went to the other room,the bracelet and the box was there...i felt sadness surge through my body..right now..as im writing this..im looking at the pillow and tears are now beginning to take shape in my eyes...i don't know why..im just...sad..i miss you..

overwhelmed.

2004-12-17T19:02:00.000+08:00

finally,exams are over and christmas break here i come..but im not actually excited..sure..imma be getting lots of money and stuff..but then..im not gonna be spending christmas with you..i won't be seeing you for two weeks and two days(?)..damn..tagal tagal nun..how can i hug you when i feel down? how can i kiss you if i want to show how much i love you? how can i hold your hand if i feel alone? damn..im missing you already..='<
enough with the sad stuff...thank you baby for making my day..gosh..i have never received that much stuff from one person...nobody[except my family] has spent that much for me..i was really...wow..overwhelmed...i never thought that i would be that kind of person worth spending that much on..i mean..i'm just me..basta..thank you soooo much..i really don't know what to say...now i know christmas won't be sad...i mean..all i ever wanted was for you to be really mine...and i got what i wanted...i love you soo much baby...sooooobra...kahit ngayon..hindi ko talaga alam kung papano ko maibabalik sayo yung saya na nabigay mo sa akin...promise ko din sayo....isusuko ko din ang lahat para lang makasama kita..at kung posible...gagawin ko ang lahat ng aking makakaya para lang makasama kita hanggang sa huling hininga ko..mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita...salamat dahil kahit minsan gusto ko na bumigay at lumisan,naipapakita mo sa akin na masaya pa din ang buhay..dahil akin ka na..

exam week

2004-12-15T18:54:00.000+08:00

two days to go and i'll finally be free from schoolwork..free from terror teachers..free from homeworks...well..at least for the next two weeks..it's CHRISTMAS!!! yeah! hope i'd get a lot of presents this year..i want moolah..i want money..kc pag binigyan nyo ako ng pera,mababalik din sa inyo kasi ggmitin ko pambili ng regalo nyo yan..baby im sooo sorry i won't be able to give you a gift this christmas..i had one planned already but then,im not the one who is in control of the future..my money was taken away from me..oh well....promise ko talaga..pagbalik sa january 3,imma spoil you with lots.pagsasabay ko na ang pasko at 1st ntin..yeah..excited na ako with that thought...but im not excited about the fact that i won't be seeing you for two whole week..im not gonna be spending xmas with you...i won't be able to hug you everyday..i won't be able to give you the kisses that you deserve..iisipin nlng kita..that's the next best thing..unless i possess the power to make you appear in front of me when i want to..oh baby..imma miss you soo...makes me sad..well..i better make the best out of the time i have left for the year 2004.this year is no doubt the best year ever..the year when we met..when we became friends...the year when you became officially mine...and the year i became your angel..and you my baby..i love you soo much..

listahan

2004-12-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

may xmas list din ako! kala nyo kayo lang!
1. panibagong cellphone-3650 gs2 ko.un lng
2.laptop-kay dadi tong gamit ko eh.gs2 ko yng akin lang
3.discman-ayaw tlga nila ako bilan.sana ngaung pasko meron na
4.cap sa reebok or adidas or nike-maganda eh.yng yellow sa reebok.ganda.pti sa adidas.dami
5.badminton shoes-kelangan ko pangtable tennis eh.
6.makapasa sa lahat ng exams
7.madaming shirts na iba ibang kulay
8.yng basic pants or yng skirt na maganda
9.bagong chucks na kulay orange
10.madaming punk accesories.asteeg
11.driver's license
12.makasama si baby habang buhay.wala na akong mahihiling pa pag natupad toh.

soo happy

2004-12-12T21:12:00.000+08:00

i'm so glad you liked this blog..i really did make it for you...so that at least,i could make you smile..i know its not enough to say how much i really do love you..but i hope you got the message..i wasn't expecting that you would cry over this simple thing...i didn't realize that it would have such impact on you...sabi mo naiyak ka kc natouch ka at ako yung unang tao na nakagawa nun sayo...just so you know,kaw din yung unang tao na napaiyak ko dahil sa isang bagay na nagawa ko...and to think na dahil sa isang simpleng mensahe lng napaiyak na kita..shoot..i sooo love you..i don't know kng pano ko pa maeexpress yng nararamdaman ko for you..it's so overwhelming na kaht ako nagugulat...baby..alam mo na dba..kung legal lng sana..kung tanggap na ng mga tao...kung tanggap na ng gobyerno at ng relihiyong katoliko..papakasalan tlaga kita...kung pwede lng tlaga na ikaw na ksama ko habangbuhay..hindi na ako makakahingi pa ng kahit ano kapag nangyari yun..kasi imaginin mo..sa bawat umaga,magigising ako at ikaw ang una kong makikita..sa gabi bago ako matulog,kaw pa din kasama ko...wow..gandang pangarap..sana lng magkatotoo..i love you po,,,sooooobra pa sa kaya kong ipakita at kaya kong sabihin...

1st.

2004-12-12T10:53:00.000+08:00

and yet again..instead of studying..i find myself creating another blog for us..damn baby..you inspire me sooo much.this blog's for you.

test

2004-12-12T10:07:00.000+08:00

test

i can't help it..i sooo LOVE you..

excited.

throbbing.

confused.

bored.

lumpia.

survey

pissed.

public.

mush.

angst.

gloom.

dream.

rage.

roulette.

freak.

boredom.

congratulations.

sarcastic.

ignore.

for you.

clean slate.

unwell.

of blood and tears.

kid at heart.

wow

feeling weird.

heaven.

asar ako sayo

*yawn*

connected.

gonna be away

sitting here..lonely..

overwhelmed.

exam week

listahan

soo happy

1st.

test

yawn